The Gallery of Regrettable Food
IT hungers! IT has come from the stars to FEAST!
The perfect dish for a party where everyone watches 50s sci-fi movies with names like “IT from Beyond” and “IT Came From Outer Space” and “The Monster That Commanded the Cucumbers.” (The last was a Corman picture with Jack Nicholson as a juvenile delinquent who gets eaten alive by ornamental vegetation.)
There’s never been anyone ever anywhere who was en route to a dinner party and thought “I hope they have dense ketchup Jell-O.”
“Me too but is it too much to hope for green olives, staring out with alien indifference? I suppose it is?”
“Oh, my dear, one can dream. One can dream.”
And then IT appears, not only with olives but cucumber hubcaps. IT pulses slightly, but that’s probably because it was just set on the table and the momentum makes it wiggle. Something in the back of your head is alarmed, though. Something in your lizard brain knows. IT is alive. And IT knows you know.
I’ve laughed harder, and more times, at this gallery over the years than I care to admit. James Lileks is a gift to the world.
These posts always remind me that my dad’s mother had no filters when it came to these concoctions!