18 Comments

"...first unbuttoning my shirt and smearing conducting gel on my chest, just to save time."

Very good.

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Aw, I’m glad to see a post on the fair! Yes, I’m in California but I go to the fair vicariously every year!

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founding

I'm not a Fair sort of guy, but James makes it fun.

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I once ate a gigantic Amazon tree slug because we were in a training exercise and the OIC ordered me to. Review: Chewy fat that tastes like bark. But willingly eat deep fried ranch dressing? No

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I never could figure out how to read your newspaper column. Glad I can find you here. Worth every penny.

Also a bleat reader every day for the past 20-25 years.

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Out in California the fair has garlic fries with the garlic minced fine and totally raw. The only cooking it gets is by contact with the rapidly-cooling fries.

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You and your date have to either both partake or abstain!

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Larks tongues a la Fripp - that sounds delicious; I've only had them in aspic!

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I grew up in Idaho where there were five state fairs for reasons of distance I suppose. At our South East Idaho State Fair there was a booth that sold UFO hamburgers. They were hamburgers with cheese, onions and pickles dipped in a batter, fried in a spinning way, and somehow they came out looking vaguely like a stereotypical UFO. I never saw them again after I moved away. I remember two things: They were extremely good, and the darn things made the fair for me. Nothing else made the longer shadows of late summer seem like a dignified passage of time like that rocket hot, deep fried bread pouch filled with beef, chopped onions and melty cheese with some great pickles. The artful blue trailer they came out of was “Out of this world!” All these years later, it ends up they really were. There’s not August breeze on a hotter day that doesn’t make me stop for just a second or two and remember the certain joy they brought.

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Thanks, James, pretty fair review of fair fare there.

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My state fair memories are from Kentucky when I was a kid. I remember the caramel apples, the midway rides, the great halls filled with award-winning crafts, sometimes made by my grandmother or aunt. Freddie the Farmer, a huge mannequin who could talk to the kids through hidden speaker. Unfortunately, the retired voice behind the iconic Freddie from the Kentucky state fair was recently murdered.

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About the same in Georgia. I remember the livestock barn and also the smell. Oddly enough, I didn't mind the smell of the 'output'....it smelled like fall and football to me.

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Thank you James, for the out-loud laughs!

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We always have a box of corn dogs in the big freezer. Probably wouldn't if I didn't come home for lunch every day.

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Never went to the Ohio state fair after I turned 11 or 12. Just not my thing anymore. If it floats you Zeppelin though, go ahead. Just stay away from Lakehurst NJ.

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Around here we have the boardwalk at Ocean City Maryland. Which is where I was introduced to deep fried nutter butters… Dip in funnel cake batter then toss in the oil. Follow up with a couple scoops from Dumser’s Ice Cream. Every weekend all summer long. Which is how I ended up looking like this a few years back: https://flic.kr/p/6q49Kv

Since then I’ve bought a bicycle and lost 60 pounds.

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I brought one wife, her mother, sister, niece, and great niece to the hottest, muggiest day of The MN State Fair today. When I say “I brought …”, I didn’t go into the gates with them. I dropped them off & picked them up four hours later. About lunch time I sent the wife a pic of my receipt from the fully air conditioned COSTCO showing I splurged $2.90 for a slice of pizza and a Pepsi. Just as unhealthy, but much cheaper and less pretentious as the Fair Food.

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It sounds like the CNE is just a maple-flavoured State Fair with pretensions. Come to think of it, that's exactly what the Canadian National Exhibition has _always_ been.

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