What’s the problem with the red nose, anyway? These are reindeer who can fly, which isn’t a feature in the original attribute profile. So a guy has a red nose - fine, it’s unusual, but please explain why this must result in ostracization. We need a little more backstory: maybe the last deer with a red nose when mad and gored everyone. “They called it Bloodmas Eve - aye, the older reindeer still talk about it. The red-nosed one stood in the stable door, eyes wide as wagon wheels, gore-flecked foam gushing from his mouth, the entrails of our friends wrapped around his antlers like string in a cat’s cradle. His nose burned like a coal from Satan's furnace, it did; the snow made a horrible hiss as it touched the nose and sizzled into steam. He made a cry they say no reindeer has ever made before, or since - a sound of pain and fury that would chill the blood of the Abominable One himself.
"Then he started in on the elves.
" No, those red-nosed ones are always bad. Good thing Rudolph ran away, or we’d have killed him - why, Santa was out in the shed honing the axe when he heard he’d run off with that gay fellow from the paint department.”
“
It the “Then he started in on the elves” line that always makes me laugh. Out loud, even.
Amen on Die Hard. How is this even a question? Any movie with a body count (either meaning) is disqualified.
I will, however, defend Rudolph. It is the greatest Christmas special precisely *because* Santa is a jerk (as are the reindeer, as are the elves). In all the other specials, the good guys are flawlessly good, and thus unrealistic. Rudolph tells us people can be mean, thoughtless, vain, ignorant and wrong -- even people we look up to and love. But that mustn't stop us from doing what's right. And in the end, right triumphs; the people who were mean see the error of their ways. Love and forgiveness carry the day.
(Charlie Brown has a bit of that, too, with all the mean kids coming around to support Charlie in the end.)
Santa did not dump the toys on the Island. That was the work of King Moonraiser. Or Moonracer. I can never tell; he's only named once.
"A cowboy who rides an ostrich" was my introduction to Surrealism.
As for A Christmas Carol: Sims, though Scott and Stewart have their moments. Of Muppets and Magoo (and Mickey, and Jim Carrey) we shall not speak. Scrooge is one of the most difficult characters in all of English dramaturgy to play. "Carol" is a story of redemption; in order to be believable, Scrooge must be redeemable. If you play him as mean, evil, malicious, sadistic, etc., then his change at the end rings hollow. Rather, he is hard-hearted: not hateful, just selfish and indifferent to others. The Sims version does a good job of humanizing Scrooge, showing through his back story how he arrived at this state. (Alas, much of that material is not in Dickens' novel.) They also show his sense of humor -- something Dickens took pains to include.
Ah jeez, guess I'll be the guy to defend Hallmark Christmas movies. Whilst recovering from the pandemically frenzied wuhan flu covid krep 4 years ago, I was too weak to change the channel and it happened to be on Hallmark. In my fever-induced psychosis the movies kept getting better and better.
No, not really. It was fun to guess the plot and ending after fifteen minutes into a film though. What makes the movies "good" is the focus on relationships. This holiday, more than any other, revolves around loved ones and home. For Hallmark movies it can take about two hours to get to the "love". Christmas songs: I'll Be Home for Christmas, No Place Like Home for the Holidays, Baby It's Cold Outside.
I'm with you. It's impossible to find a movie or streaming series that isn't deeply insulting to one's intelligence and depressing to one's sensibilities. Prime kept pushing Hallmark movies at me even though I prefer SciFi and police procedurals. This was also in 2020 although I was not in a lockdown state. I watched a few and tend to go on watching sprees every six months or so. Thank you, Hallmark!
Okay, but I’m still going to hang the “McLane crawling through the duct” ornament. It was given to us by a dear friend in 2019, shortly before the world went sideways.
Yes, you guessed it- the following year’s ornament was a 3D printed “dumpster fire” depicting 2020.
By James' formulation, "Stalag 17" is definitely a Christmas movie.
Christmas is coming! Preparations are being made! Oh, no, Christmas may be spoiled by the presence of a Nazi traitor rat among the prisoners! Denouement. Everyone is happy and the Nazi traitor rat earns his salvation and Christmas is saved!
Will differ with you here, James, for the first time. Diehard is indeed a Christmas movie, even his wife is named Holly. Even the techie bad guy recites twas the night before Christmas.
By these more restrictive definitions, classic Christmas movies aren't really Christmas movies unless there's a literal Santa in them, and/or some kind of winged hussar/elk that magically transports a hideously obese gentlemen into the homes of children.
Whereas in Die Hard, terrorists get shot, like tons, and it's awesome. Now I have a machine gun, Santa. Ho. Ho. *Ho*.
Not only is Die Hard a Christmas movie, it is literally a retelling of the Christmas story.
Consider:
The story of Jesus culminates in His holy salvation of fallen Man.
The story of John McClane culminates in his salvation of Holly from a falling Man.
I rest my case.
I’ve always liked, and often quoted,Our Genial Host’s take on Rudolph from 21 years ago.
(Scroll down to Tuesday)
https://www.lileks.com/bleats/archive/02/1202/120203.html
“
What’s the problem with the red nose, anyway? These are reindeer who can fly, which isn’t a feature in the original attribute profile. So a guy has a red nose - fine, it’s unusual, but please explain why this must result in ostracization. We need a little more backstory: maybe the last deer with a red nose when mad and gored everyone. “They called it Bloodmas Eve - aye, the older reindeer still talk about it. The red-nosed one stood in the stable door, eyes wide as wagon wheels, gore-flecked foam gushing from his mouth, the entrails of our friends wrapped around his antlers like string in a cat’s cradle. His nose burned like a coal from Satan's furnace, it did; the snow made a horrible hiss as it touched the nose and sizzled into steam. He made a cry they say no reindeer has ever made before, or since - a sound of pain and fury that would chill the blood of the Abominable One himself.
"Then he started in on the elves.
" No, those red-nosed ones are always bad. Good thing Rudolph ran away, or we’d have killed him - why, Santa was out in the shed honing the axe when he heard he’d run off with that gay fellow from the paint department.”
“
It the “Then he started in on the elves” line that always makes me laugh. Out loud, even.
Alastair Sim. The Gold Standard of Scrooges.
Absolutely!
Christmas movies need Bing Crosby or a Bing Crosby song or Bing Crosby costar
Oh, we know which costar the Judge has in mind. ;>
That eliminates Miracle on 34th Street, the Ur exemplar.
By design
Amen on Die Hard. How is this even a question? Any movie with a body count (either meaning) is disqualified.
I will, however, defend Rudolph. It is the greatest Christmas special precisely *because* Santa is a jerk (as are the reindeer, as are the elves). In all the other specials, the good guys are flawlessly good, and thus unrealistic. Rudolph tells us people can be mean, thoughtless, vain, ignorant and wrong -- even people we look up to and love. But that mustn't stop us from doing what's right. And in the end, right triumphs; the people who were mean see the error of their ways. Love and forgiveness carry the day.
(Charlie Brown has a bit of that, too, with all the mean kids coming around to support Charlie in the end.)
Santa did not dump the toys on the Island. That was the work of King Moonraiser. Or Moonracer. I can never tell; he's only named once.
"A cowboy who rides an ostrich" was my introduction to Surrealism.
As for A Christmas Carol: Sims, though Scott and Stewart have their moments. Of Muppets and Magoo (and Mickey, and Jim Carrey) we shall not speak. Scrooge is one of the most difficult characters in all of English dramaturgy to play. "Carol" is a story of redemption; in order to be believable, Scrooge must be redeemable. If you play him as mean, evil, malicious, sadistic, etc., then his change at the end rings hollow. Rather, he is hard-hearted: not hateful, just selfish and indifferent to others. The Sims version does a good job of humanizing Scrooge, showing through his back story how he arrived at this state. (Alas, much of that material is not in Dickens' novel.) They also show his sense of humor -- something Dickens took pains to include.
Sim, no final 's'.
Just watched Die Hard again last night. What a great movie. Merry Christmas!
In which James goes there....
Ah jeez, guess I'll be the guy to defend Hallmark Christmas movies. Whilst recovering from the pandemically frenzied wuhan flu covid krep 4 years ago, I was too weak to change the channel and it happened to be on Hallmark. In my fever-induced psychosis the movies kept getting better and better.
No, not really. It was fun to guess the plot and ending after fifteen minutes into a film though. What makes the movies "good" is the focus on relationships. This holiday, more than any other, revolves around loved ones and home. For Hallmark movies it can take about two hours to get to the "love". Christmas songs: I'll Be Home for Christmas, No Place Like Home for the Holidays, Baby It's Cold Outside.
For God so loved the world ...
I'm with you. It's impossible to find a movie or streaming series that isn't deeply insulting to one's intelligence and depressing to one's sensibilities. Prime kept pushing Hallmark movies at me even though I prefer SciFi and police procedurals. This was also in 2020 although I was not in a lockdown state. I watched a few and tend to go on watching sprees every six months or so. Thank you, Hallmark!
Okay, but I’m still going to hang the “McLane crawling through the duct” ornament. It was given to us by a dear friend in 2019, shortly before the world went sideways.
Yes, you guessed it- the following year’s ornament was a 3D printed “dumpster fire” depicting 2020.
By James' formulation, "Stalag 17" is definitely a Christmas movie.
Christmas is coming! Preparations are being made! Oh, no, Christmas may be spoiled by the presence of a Nazi traitor rat among the prisoners! Denouement. Everyone is happy and the Nazi traitor rat earns his salvation and Christmas is saved!
Will differ with you here, James, for the first time. Diehard is indeed a Christmas movie, even his wife is named Holly. Even the techie bad guy recites twas the night before Christmas.
Favorite Christmas sitcom episode> "Bewitched"> Samantha takes Bill Mumy on a trip to the North Pole.
Nah, the best version of A Christmas Carol is Scrooge with Albert Finney.
By these more restrictive definitions, classic Christmas movies aren't really Christmas movies unless there's a literal Santa in them, and/or some kind of winged hussar/elk that magically transports a hideously obese gentlemen into the homes of children.
Whereas in Die Hard, terrorists get shot, like tons, and it's awesome. Now I have a machine gun, Santa. Ho. Ho. *Ho*.
If "Patrick Swayze Christmas" can have an action scene, why can't a Christmas movie?
This took twice as long as normal to read because I close my eyes when I laugh.